Relationships Corner: Russell Wilson on Celibacy With Girlfriend Ciara

 

Ciara Russell Wilson

Dating is tricky in itself. Dating while aiming to live a life for Christ can be even more tough. The desire to live an upstanding lifestyle while resisting the temptation of flesh is impossible to many. But Super Bowl-winning Seattle Seahawks’ Quarterback Russell Wilson begs to differ. Though difficult, he admits, Russell has committed to a relationship abstinent of sex with his new girlfriend, singer Ciara. He revealed this information in a recent interview with Pastor Miles McPherson at Rock Church in San Diego, CA.

Wilson has made it no secret his relationship with God. After a game-winning throw leading to his second Super Bowl appearance, Wilson professed in tears during the post-game interview, “God is too good all the time, man, every time.” But to learn that his love for God involves more than gratitude but a lifestyle was news worth sharing.

Wilson stated that his decision came to him while in Ciara’s dressing room before a tour performance.

“I was looking at her in the mirror. I was sitting in her dressing room and she was getting ready about 15 minutes before she went on stage…and God spoke to me and said, ‘I need you to lead her.’ And I was like, ‘Really, right now?’ [Laughs] He goes, ‘No, I want you and need you to lead her.’ So I told her right then and there, ‘What would you do if we took all that extra stuff off the table and just did it Jesus’ way?’

…talking about sex. For me, I knew that God had brought me into her life to bless her and for her to bless me.”

Wilson said that there’s a difference between a believer and a follower and she’s a follower. He also claimed that he knew he would date Ciara before meeting her. They both have experienced heartbreak; he married his high school sweetheart whom he had been with since he was fifteen years old but things did not work out, so they could relate on many levels including spiritually.

I know what a lot of you fellas are thinking. Bruh, have you seen Ciara bend into “the Matrix??” But a righteous man of God can see past the physical and commit to “leading his woman” as Russell put it. I can respect this because this is one issue where I have struggled in the past and a reason that I believe, some of my relationships have failed.

I have been celibate for long periods of time (when I say long, my hold out timeframe has ranged from one year to as long as four years), but there have also been times that I rebelled against my desire to abstain from sex until marriage. I respect Russell for initiating this act of obedience because I have found in dating that lots of men know God, they walk with Him and understand how He works, but when it comes to sex that is one thing they will argue to the grave is not necessary to give up.

For me, it’s common sense. There would not be so many negative outcomes of premarital sex if it were right. None of us want an STD and most of us do not desire to have children outside of the commitment of marriage, simply because parenting dynamics and merging/managing finances are issues we usually don’t conquer before then. Yes, you can get an STD while married, but let’s just go out on a limb and say that the person you are married to is faithful and you’ve seen his test results before hopping in the sack. I know that there are many people who are practicing safe sex but even so, we all have had that scare. Our future, our destiny is not worth sacrificing.

But as my own failed attempts prove, making this commitment is much easer said than done. We can be all gung-ho about sticking to our plan, one thing turns into another and years of dedication flush down the drain. That’s not the time to come down on yourself though, if celibacy is something you are pursuing. I believe you have to get to a point of realization that nothing has power over you. There is nothing that I need outside of God, food, and shelter; not man, not intimacy, not companionship. Those things are nice but I don’t need them. I have ruined relationships because I fed into his needs and his desires or I relied too heavily on him. Now I rely solely on God and it has allowed me to gain a sense of wholeness that I never imagined.

Choosing to wait until saying “I do,” is a commendable proclamation that I want to love you, not for how you can satisfy me physically but how you make me feel emotionally, how you stimulate my mind, and our ability to hold a conversation and not get bored. Everyone has their own values, standards, and morals. I appreciate that Russell stuck to his even with all of the temptations that I’m sure come his way. I don’t necessarily think that his sex life is our business but I believe he saw it as an opportunity to use his platform to encourage others that remaining true to self can be done. I was disappointed that many sites mocked his decision and acted as if celibacy were outlandish. What are your thoughts on this topic? Have you attempted celibacy? Is it possible or do you think it’s an old bible rule that doesn’t apply?

-Renée Nicole Gibson Twitter: disclosednative IG: ms_disclosednative

FASHION FIX: CROCHET EVERYTHING

Kourtney Kardashian

For this post I was inspired by a fashion blogger friend of mine who was promoting a site, Madewithlovebyjdove.etsy.com. The designer is a recent college grad from my alma mater (Towson University) who knits the flyest bikini and crop tops. It reminded me of how much I love the crochet trend. I have a crochet bikini and crop top that I have been rocking since 2013 (don’t judge me, it’s still cute). But that just goes to show that some trends stay current.

Crochet

Me rocking my crochet crop &

Crochet 2

bikini top on a Bahamas/Mia cruise circa June 2013.

Crochet is one of those styles that we stole from our grandparents decades ago and have put our stamp of approval on. It’s not just for Granny’s scarves and blankets that she unwarrantedly gifts us on Christmas. We have spruced up the old school material in the form of spring dresses, hippie vests, and wide-legged pants.

My absolute favorite crochet look has to be the crop top. Crops have been in for the past few seasons because they allow us ladies to show a little skin without looking like hookers. Whether curvy or thin, the crop top can be made appropriate with the right bottom such as high-waisted jeans.

Crochet also is an incredible weapon for beating the heat. I wore a crochet loose-fitting top this weekend to escape this scorching California weather and it was so effective. The wind passed through the limited material and immediately hit my skin like a magnet!

Peep the cool crochet pieces below. Are you here for this trend???

-Renée Nicole Gibson Twitter: disclosednative IG: ms_disclosednative

Relationships Corner: Dealing With People You Don’t Like

Some days I feel like I am not a people person. Humans can start to irritate me after awhile and then I don’t want to be around them any longer (which is probably the reason why the thought of marriage kinda freaks me out—to be with the same person day after day for the rest of my life, ahhh). I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember and I’ve wondered if something was wrong with me because most young folks need friends around them every second of the day. I, on the other hand have always enjoyed my alone time. I can spend days without human contact and be in peaceful bliss. But now as I’m slowly creeping away from my youthful years, I am attempting to learn to deal with people that rub me the wrong way. The people that talk too much or too loudly, ask me too many questions, don’t know when it’s time to go home, or just look at me the wrong way.

I know you all are like, “She is crazy,” but it really has been (and still is) a process for me to be around people that I just find annoying. Over the past few days I have been presented with the message of loving others, even those I don’t understand and it really hit home. I found that my irritation with people was a form of judgment. I judged the fact that they were different from me. This is the reason why I find it hard to be around any one person too often because everyone is going to be different than me. So here I am, thinking that I am loving all of God’s children regardless of their beliefs, lifestyle, or culture and I am judging people for not doing what I think they should.

I can find something I dislike in anyone. If you spend enough time with a person, their mannerisms, behavior, or even the way they talk can make you want to throw a brick straight at their forehead. But learning to accept people for who they are and not criticize their uniqueness to you is a part of growing up. You can choose to limit your interaction with people that you clash with, but a sign of maturity is being able to deal with your polar opposite as well as your behavioral twin.

I think that is why so many relationships become dry and stale. After being around a person so often, you will find little things about them that make you want to wring their neck. Those things start to outweigh whatever drew you to the person. The smile that was once so cute doesn’t turn you on anymore, that joke that once made you laugh is now the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard. You have to tap into a special place in your heart to find love for people in the midst of their irritating gestures.

I am learning that I cannot make people my little puppets doing what and reacting the way that I want them to. I have to be loving and patient. I also have to be bold enough to address issues that make me uncomfortable. I can write someone off because of their behavior and they not even know that what they did was a problem for me. If I confront the issue they may see how it affected me and change their conduct if it doesn’t conflict with who they are as a person. A simple, loving conversation is all that it takes.

It is not intended for us to be friends with everybody. There are some personalities that just don’t mix. But if we are in a situation where we have to work with someone we don’t like or have family members that make our skin crawl, we should be mature enough to suck it up and deal. And we should learn to love others despite of how unique they may be. This is the way that we exemplify Christ on earth, by loving even when we’d rather dismiss. Choose your associates wisely; I believe that small circles are the smartest circles, but don’t be a hermit crab with no ability to interact with civilization. Come out for air and say hello.

-Renée Nicole Gibson Twitter: disclosednative IG: ms_disclosednative

RIHANNA DEBUTS EPIC #BBHMM VISUAL!

bbhmmrih

The highly anticipated ‘Bitch Better Have My Money” visual is finally here and it was well worth the wait! I have to be honest when I saw the teaser on the BET Awards I wasn’t sure if I’d be excited about it but I can admit when I am wrong. This unique, cinematic, action-packed thriller has a Quentin Tarantino twist to it that left me wanting more.

The explicit video follows Rihanna kidnapping and torturing a woman in high pursuit to collect a debt. This Bad Gal Rih-Rih and Megaforce production can definitely blossom into a mini film. Rihanna Navy, I need you guys to get on that like ASAP! Best video I’ve seen in a while!

Take a look at the seven-minute theatrical music video and post your thoughts! [WARNING: For mature eyes only].

-Madelyn Monroe

IG: Fearless_Femme

LIKE US ON FACEBOOK! Disclosed….

Tamera Mowry-Housley Welcomes Healthy Baby Girl

The Real co-host Tamera Mowry-Housley welcomes baby girl Ariah Talea Housley with husband, FOX News correspondent Adam Housley. Adam announced yesterday (July 1) on Twitter:

We are so blessed and excited right now. Ariah Talea Housley was born at 2:54….We are so excited to have Ariah here. Such a strong girl.

Tamera confirmed her pregnancy in January with a picture of a positive ClearBlue on Instagram!

Announced Pregnancy on IG

Congratulations Tamera and Adam!

-Madelyn Monroe